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How To Balance Personal Independence With Parenting

As parents, we are always faced with opportunities to be teachers, motivators, and nurturers, but not without incorporating time to find a balance and healthy boundaries within ourselves.


The Airplane Analogy

Have you ever heard the saying that if your plane starts to go down while flying, you need put the oxygen mask on yourself first, so you have enough breath to take care of your child?


Well… that’s true. Think about what would happen if we, the adults, lose our breath because we ran out of air while taking the time to fumble around trying to put an oxygen mask on our children’s faces before our own. The kid would be sitting there full of breath and feeling good, while the parent is passed out cold in the chair, now not able to help with the next steps, like preparing for a harsh landing.


This is a very accurate analogy for life. It’s so easy to overlook our own needs as parents and guardians. We tend to rush around doing for everyone else at home and at work that we end up brushing our needs aside, leaving us to feel depleted and invisible.


Once we deplete, once we run out of what gives us life: sleep, food, joy, personal space to recharge, and adult time for whatever you enjoy – then we have NOTHING left to give. Our positive energy runs out, and our negative energy fuels rage, impatience, and depression.


Striking A Healthy Balance

I am here to help you create that healthy balance so you don’t lose sight of your individuality. Parent’s needs are important and I can show you a way to incorporate your independent self into your parenting self. You can schedule a Discovery Session with me by going to my website and choosing a time on the calendar for a call at www.wendyallyson.com.


In the meantime, I encourage you to start thinking about what you need to fuel your soul. For instance, I need music. I need to sing, write, and perform music to feel whole. My brain needs that creative stimulation to feel fulfilled. It’s one of the things that fuels my soul and keeps me feeling like myself.


What do you need for a joyful balance? Some of you might not even know what your passion or purpose is, and that’s one of the things I can help you find within yourself. We can explore who you are outside of your children. It’s important to understand that your children and your family are the biggest part of you, but there is still something else that keeps you balanced, uniquely you, and joyfully fulfilled. Something you may even want to share with our children to do together, that perhaps you forgot you needed, and stuffed it far away deep inside of you. Pull it out! Try to spend at least 15-30 minutes a day to recharge in the best way that energizes you.


If it’s something you would rather do alone, you may need to wake up a few minutes early or stay up at night after the kids go to bed. Or maybe you can take that time in the afternoon when the kids are at school or outside playing. Once you start incorporating a few minutes each day or week to recharge, you will see a big change in how you perceive not only yourself, but your entire family.


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